The importance of loving yourself enough to take care of your mental health
“If you can’t love yourself? How, in the hell, are you gonna love someone body else?”Rupaul Charles
If you are not already familiar the quote of the post title it is the main catchphrase used by RuPaul: host of the reality TV show RuPaul’s Drag Race. This show is best known for having transported LGBTQ+ rights into the forefront of society’s gaze and the mainstream media. However, a little more unrecognised is the mental health aspect that is a huge part of the show with RuPaul encouraging contestants to be mindful of their “inner saboteur”; to live in the “here and now” and ; to cultivate their own self-compassion to the struggles and the impact that being queer has had on their lives. Despite the controversies Drag Race has faced over the years, at its core, this is a show about love.
It’s a message that we all could do with hearing and it’s that we need to love ourselves more: but are we really doing enough (or anything!) when it comes to our mental health? Life can be tough at times and no one is immune to hardship, so why then are we unable to recognise that; show ourselves kindness and take proactive steps to give our mind (and hearts) the care they need?
In the UK, you only need to google “mental health statistics” to see that we are in the middle of a mental health crisis. The problem may lie in the way we are perceiving and treating mental health in the same way we do physical illness. Now that is definitely not to say that mental health issues don’t or can’t cause severe physical side effects. However, there must be a drastic change in the narrative of what mental health is and what good mental health looks like. Unlike with most physical illnesses and disorders you would be looking to alleviate the symptoms permanently. I don’t think this works in regard to our mentality. Let’s take anxiety for instance, which is a very normal human emotion. It’s not the fact that we feel anxiety that is the problem (it’s part of our danger sensing mechanism as humans) but what is a problem is prolonged and/or disproportionate anxiety reactions to minor stresses or events.
Mental and physical are intertwined: Many of us are aware that the mind and body are connected and it is now known that by taking care of yourself physically (i.e., exercising regularly; eating a healthy diet; and taking time to properly rest) boosts your will power and mental wellbeing. Strange though that we don’t view the opposite to be true: that if we take care of mental health then our physical health will improve.
Now before we begin to despair for the fate of our collective sanity there is hope - counselling. If we look at our American counterparts: counselling (or psychotherapy as is termed there) for many is a way of life just like going to the gym is a way of life. It sounds so simple but why don’t more of us do it? Again, this may be a consequence of treating our health the way we do our physical health as counselling is, usually, viewed as a last resort and only sought after all other avenues have been exhausted. The consequence of this is that many will only seek help in relation to their mental health when it has deteriorated so badly that even simple everyday tasks become monumental efforts. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter is that like going to the gym, counselling can be hard work and depending on what your goals are, a certain level of stability and resilience are necessary for you to get the most out of your counselling.
by Gavin McDonald